Insatiable Wit?

By Joshua Blake

I told my therapist that I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Racing thoughts keep me up for anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours. It’s frustrating, and I’ve been trying a new idea: setting an alarm for bedtime.

This isn’t because of my insatiable wit – that’d be blasphemy. Anette told me to try it. I’ve definitely woken up more relaxed than weeks and months previous, but it’s challenging for me to just “go to bed.” I used to write before I went to bed in a journal every night, and I’m doing that now – only here – online. I’m listening to PVRIS as I type to you while contemplating what to do for the next six days before Anette’s arrival. Cleaning would be a good start. Then walking?

Why am I telling you for? Maybe I’m bored or restless – or both. I also return to college for the first time in two years this August. I’ve not prepared myself mentally nor physically for this enduring journey that lies ahead at all until this point. At least that’s what I’d like to believe. I’m not really sure. The sleep schedule is really important for me to get down as best I can first. I’m an hour-and-a-half behind, but I’m trying. I’m on day three as of now. Maybe I’ll start walking after I wake up today or after I clean, or something.

I just wanna drown out every counter-intuitive thought that I can for the next six days and just focus on getting ready for Anette’s visit. That seems logical, right? God, it’s like I’m white-knuckled in the brain. That’d be quite the discovery.